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March 7, 2019 / admin

WISE ADVICE – Help! My BF is Scared of Having Mixed Kids

Okay, guys – I received a letter from a woman in Boston who needs our help and advice. Her letter below:

“Hi Lisa,

I have been dating a guy for 4 and a half years and I finally brought up the marriage conversation last night. But I am feeling crushed and confused because he admitted that he had been stalling because he doesn’t know how he feels about having biracial kids. He feels like he will stand out in our family, that his children won’t look like him, and worries about giving his child the best advantage in life possible. To that last point, he thinks given the climate of America and police brutality that his mixed race son would not be treated like he was and have to deal with prejudices and discrimination since he will likely be seen as  Black. I don’t know what to do! I love him and he loves me, and I am angry at him for not caring what people think and just wanting to have a family with me, but he has some valid points. What should I do?

Yours truly, Clueless in Boston”

Hi Clueless,

Wow – that one is a doozy. You have every right to be confused after spending over four years together. What took you so long to have this conversation? And why has be continued dating you for so long if he knows that he wants alabaster white kids? Also, doesn’t he know that there are more biracial people than ever (just look at the Kardashians save Kourtney) and that all mixed kids don’t look black? **You may want to show him some pictures of Zoe Saldana’s kids!**

I tend to agree with you that if he really loved you he would be excited to have kids with you. Perhaps this is his way of saying you are a temporary woman in his life because he knows what he truly wants. It sucks that his decision is being influenced by the way black people are treated in America, but he isn’t wrong. Some people just don’t want to give up their privilege and now that things are getting serious since you’re talking about marriage and kids, he is faced with the reality of that.

You might want to break up with this one or tell him you understand he has some issues he needs to work through so you suggest taking a step back while he figures it out so you are free to keep looking for someone who is excited to have a family with you.

What say you BWWM readers? Any advice for ‘Clueless in Boston’ – sound off below.

February 28, 2019 / admin

Black Women – Makeup is Your Friend (Stop Being Plain Janes)

Before I begin, let me just say that I am aware that there are a lot of Black women who are now getting into makeup thanks to the Kardashian sisters introducing the world to beating the face, contouring, highlighting, and getting those brows on fleek.

However, there are plenty of ladies (especially in the church) who are against makeup. And if I were to think about the black women I see on a daily basis versus the white/asian/latina women, I’d say they are much more likely to be walking around sans makeup.

Now, I am totally not one to layer on a billion products because I want my skin to breathe. I stick to exfoliating and steaming my face every now and then, using Retin A, a light peel once every few months, moisturizing, and never leaving the house without my SPF 50.

As a result, I have smooth, clean, and clear skin that was never plagued with acne even in my teenage years. Obviously I understand not everyone is working with the same canvas, but I notice a lot of Black girls have beautiful clear skin thanks to that oil and melanin popping!
**PRO TIP for girls like me: You don’t necessarily need foundation or concealer and the like if you have a good tinted Sunblock.

My no foundation/concealer on a daily basis stance aside, I would be a fool to deny that makeup enhances your beauty and puts you on the dating map. We all know men are visual creatures and if you are walking around looking like Alicia Keys and all the other women look like Alicia in her pre-makeup free days than you don’t really stand a chance.

Look, nothing against Alicia, but bare faced just doesn’t compare. The reality is other women are out there that you and MEN think are “naturally” beautiful that are using glam and subtle makeup in their favor.

For example, if you don’t want to look totally overdone, a little eyelash lift or natural looking extensions, mascara, lipgloss, eyeliner, blush, lip stain, and brow tint/wax goes a LONG WAY.

The below viral asian makeup transformation video is a testament to how you can totally change your looks and go from plain jane to a stunner with the help of makeup. I should point out that so many people think Koreans and Japanese girls are naturally GORGEOUS but I’ve noticed a lot of them just wear “natural looking makeup” to present their best face forward.

Now, of course you don’t have to go all out with the jawbone tape, nostril plug reshapers, colored contacts, fake nose clay, and white skin spray to beautify yourself, but looking like you just rolled out of bed and not caring one iota about your appearance is not it, chief! **Come back to see one of my favorite videos on how to enhance your look for the low maintenance girls**

February 25, 2019 / admin

Maroon 5 and Sza – BWWM in pop culture

I just saw this video with Maroon 5 and Sza and keeping in line with all things black women and white men decided to post it here. Isn’t Sza gorgeous? Having a black woman be desirable and sexy – but doing more than shaking it fast – to a handsome and desirable white man is a welcome image in pop culture in my opinion.

November 19, 2018 / admin

Interracial Skating Couple Vanessa James & Morgan Cipres

I’m just going to leave this right here.

I remember being glued to the ice skating performances during the Winter Olympics a when I was younger, but haven’t really been into the sport since Michelle Kwan left the stage. But this interracial ice skating couple—Vanessa James and Morgan Cipres, has sparked my attention. They have been skating together for 9 years and recently won the Skate Canada FP B.ESP competition.

I don’t know if they are a real life couple off the ice (my research says they aren’t) but they sure do dazzle together on it. His strength and power, her gracefulness and amazing body – their athleticism and smoothness. It all just gels with this sensual choreography and music.

I truly hope this performance and win will encourage more Black girls to explore different hobbies / sports because they will likely rock the heck out of it (just as Venus and Serena, Simone, and countless others have.)

Click play and prepare to be amazed at this Black girl magic and white guy studmuffin.


October 16, 2018 / admin

How to Let White Guys know you’re down with the swirl on Dating Apps

So, let’s talk dating apps – tinder, bumble, match, hinge…

These apps are all about people making quick judgments about whether they think you’d be a viable match and the determination is made by looking through your pictures.

Sure, some guys will buck the system and read your entire profile but most will form their opinion of you based on the visuals you provide first and foremost.

We all know some white men still haven’t gotten the memo that black girls are more and more open to exploring all the different crayons in the coloring box, and for that reason may not swipe on you for fear of being automatically ruled out and rejected.

Thusly, you might find yourself wondering how you can turn the tides in your favor?

For one, make sure you are swiping on white men (duh) so that if he does swipe on you, you’re more likely to be a match.

Second, picture of you with all black crews aren’t going to scream diversity. Upload photos of yourself and your diverse group of friends (all the better if there are other white men in the pictures).

Dig out the snaps of you doing “conventionally white activities”. You know what I’m talking about: comic con, golfing, snowboarding, skiing, hiking, shuffle boarding, and at a alternative rock/country/obscure indie rock concert. The more chances that he is into the same thing as you, the more likely he’ll think you aren’t the “typical black girl” who only like black guys and message you.

Travel photos – it means you are more open minded to the world and probably more open minded to dating outside of your skin tone.

Dress like a free thinking hipster. And if it applies, throw in at least one picture of you with your natural fro / hair swinging.

Went to a predominantly white liberal arts college? Don’t forget that photo with you rocking your school’s sweatshirt / swag.

Got any other ideas or photos that you believe have worked in getting your more attention from white men on the dating apps? Share them below.

October 9, 2018 / admin

10 Interactive Halloween Costume Ideas for the Single Ladies

It’s about that time – my second favorite holiday is quickly approaching. And in case you don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s Halloween. As a child growing up in a religious home I was taught not to celebrate halloween (and I’m sure a lot of black women can relate) but this is just one more thing that makes us others as everyone else is calmly going around celebrating the fun and not worshipping devils.

Anyway, that’s an article for another day. What we are going to talk about today is that If you are single and NOT loving it, don’t have any hangups about dressing up for halloween, and want to take advantage of the many opportunities to meet single guys that you probably wouldn’t meet elsewhere because they don’t frequent clubs, bars, or live in your neighborhood, then halloween is your time.

You’re definitely going to want to hit the parade, parties, and gatherings. But you can’t just show up with a t-shirt and jeans and claim you are dressed up as someone who thinks costumes are lame. The greatest way to show a man that you have personality and are fun is to get creative with your costume and go all out.

But, don’t just stop at a cute outfit that people will compliment you on. Dig a little deeper and get an interactive costume if you REALLY want to give a guy an easy way to approach you for a photo or to test out your cool costume.

Here are 10 interactive Halloween costume ideas that you are free to rip off!

(1) Wind up toy doll – bonus point if you manage to make the winding key twist and turnable

(2) The Bachelorette – Don your most glamorous gown and heels and have a bunch of long stemmed roses handy to give out. Since some people might not get it, you may also need a name tag that says The Bachelorette. Then feel free to hand them out to whichever guys catches your eyes for the night with the famous catchphrase “[insert guy’s costume character name], will you accept this rose?”

Read more…

October 8, 2018 / admin

Is anyone going to see The Oath? (Tiffany Haddish & Ike Barinholtz)

Just saw a trailer for the Oath and while it features an interracial couple , I’m not so excited about it. Besides the fact that it appears to feature Tiffany Haddish playing Tiffany Haddish, I also am trying to figure out if the entire movie will be one long dinner scene? Someone wrote that it was supposed to be the black female version of Get Out. (scooby doo noise)

The Oath is a 2018 American dark comedy film written and directed by Ike Barinholtz. It stars Ike BarinholtzTiffany HaddishJohn ChoCarrie BrownsteinBilly MagnussenMeredith Hagner, Jon Barinholtz, Nora Dunn and Chris Ellis, and follows a politically divided family at Thanksgiving after the U.S. government requires all citizens to sign a loyalty pledge.

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