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Black Women White Men | Interracial Blog 
I read a posting on another IR blog yesterday that said white men are marrying black woman last,behind white woman, then Asian, then “other”. The blog seem to suggest that this is because white men are not interested in dating and marrying black woman. Their were allot of replies to this post. Some agreed. Some disagreed. But it wasn’t till the last reply that someone said what I think it is,and I think it’s black woman that choose not to date outside their race more than white men. So what do you think? Do you think it’s more white men that are choosing not to date black woman? Or black woman that are choosing not to date white men? I have a theory that I will share after I get some replies. I look forward to reading them.
Honestly I think because there are insecurities on both ends of the spectrum that there arent many bw/wm marrying. Black woman are assuming that wm arent interested. Also they may be to worried about what family or friends may say. On the other end, white men are often really nervous about approaching bw and i have also seen situations where wm really are into bw but their families refuse to accept the relationship and make it very difficult for the couple.
I personally think it is largely to do with the interaction between black women and white men that is the issue. I personally love men, meaning any man of an color. I am attracted to men as long as you are attractive to me. But on the issue of white men, I find white men attractive and would date them. However, the reason why I have not dated white men and now considering maybe I shouldn’t attempt is because white men do not approach me.
I have been in situations where there is a physical connection between myself and a white man, but never been approached by one. When I am attracted to somebody am flirtatious and try to be open so that the person can talk to me, hence it is not because I am unapproachable…Therefore, speaking as a black woman I sometimes feel like white men in general are not open to dating black women; they may like the attention or attracted to black women but not enough to pursue a relationship or even date a black woman. For this reason I have started to rule out white men. It maybe lack of confidence that explains why they do not approach me. Whatever, the reason is I have become frustrated with being in that situation that I am ruling out white men as potential dating or relationship partner.
Well I don’t know what the stats and attitudes are in other parts of the world but I’m in South Africa… I’m very attracted to white men and the fear from where I’m standing is that white men just don’t want us… Or atleast white men that are equally or somewhat successful… Its rare to find a wholesome white man with a wholesome black woman.
I’m 21 and never dated, never been kissed etc. Men(of any race) do not approach me that often(its not cause I look bad I don’t know I hear that I’m unapproachable) in general and so I had lost hope in ever ending up with a white guy until I got approached by one and he was not at all unkept-looking or less than “wholesome” infact I had noticed him a few minutes before and found him attractive. I turned him down though because that’s just what I do and I greatly regret it… But it educated me abit that our fears may just be caused by false perceptions…
But how do we go about finding a white man with whom to partner with in life if we are both fearful? I mean I almost always feel embarassed to state it when I’m attracted to a white man because people from my community will say “YOU’RE BLACK AND HE’S WHITE! WHITE MEN DON’T WANT YOU!”
First I would like to thank AW for their strength in opening up these doors and the author for her courage in helping BW to live happier and more fulfilled lives.
In my experience, most BW that I have even broached the idea of dating a WM, ball up in the fetal position and rock back and forth. The thought seems to terrify them. It’s like they cannot even just think about it. They say that WM just want them for sex and this is used as an excuse to shut down any thought or discussion. Let us not forget the BW who shout loud and proud how they will never be with a WM. This is probably due to the WM boogeyman stories the BW is spoon-fed and force-fed. This has led to an indoctrination of BW where they are “programmed” to despise, hold in contempt and be terrified of WM.
When I was single and opening up my options, I never met another BW who was doing the same (circa 2004). Every BW I met was all about the brothers and the plight of the black man. So I would have to say BW cut themselves off from opening their options. This is due to their indoctrination plus the inept way BM handle racism (promoting themselves as victims and seeking acceptance as oppose to empowerment).
The BW has been defeminized by the BM to rationalize his lust for white flesh and justify his overall incompetence as a man. So to be healthy and happy and feminine, the BW needs to detach from the BM. Face it, he detached from you decades ago.