HOT White Men Only Date Thin/Skinny Black Women?
READER SUBMITTED QUESTION:
Sent by Aysia
I’ve always wondered, if I want to date a white guy will I have to be skinny/thin to do so? I’ve seen so many beautiful interracial couples with extremely handsome white men but one thing that I always notice, the woman is always thin
xxx
Ok, I know that title is a bit on the controversial side, but it is relevant to this week’s reader submitted question from Alyssa. To answer your question, NO, you absolutely do not have to be skinny/thin to date a White guy. Look at all the pictures of interracial couples around the internet and you’ll see heavier Black women with White Men in abundance.
Now, you may also notice those White Men may be a little overweight themselves, average or not super model status (I touched on this before about like attracting like; and why looking solely for a Hot man may not be the way to go in your vetting process). That being said, being attractive to one’s mate is of great importance if you want the relationship to last.
But the second part of your question mentioned noticing extremely handsome White men with only THIN black women. You’re wondering then, if the fact that those Black women were able to capture the attention and heart of their extremely handsome White man is because of being, amongst other things, primarily THIN.
So then, is your question really ‘if I want to date an extremely handsome White man will I have to be thin/slim to do so?’
Now, this a question I can really sink my teeth into! Get ready, because here’s MY HONEST and VERY STRONG OPINION
MORE THAN LIKELY, YES!
Stop lying! Jennifer Hudson simply looks a LOT better, more confident and HAPPIER after the weight loss
Look, if you want to date extremely handsome White men, you had probably better be pretty darn gorgeous yourself. We all have heard about beauty being in the eye of the beholder, but there’s much to be said that many of us beholders would view a slim/in shape version of a woman as more beautiful than a large/overweight version of that same woman. Don’t agree? You’re an anomaly. Don’t like it? Tough, you’ll have to face reality that most people feel this way in our time period, whatever the reason -persistent media images and the like.
Fat has a tendency to distort many a beautiful feature and I certainly enjoy looking at bodies that are in shape than out of shape… don’t you? I’m going to assume yes since you’re wondering about those hot white men as opposed to those overweight/fat white men.
To give you some perspective, an extremely handsome White Man, who would have a LOT of choices in the dating department is:
1. Probably going to want the best that he can get (not only in terms of attractiveness but in personality, smarts and femininity and all that other good stuff) because HE CAN. And guess what? He’s going to have to be attracted to your looks first before deciding to invest time in getting to know your sparkling personality, wit and all your other great qualities.
2. Probably going to want someone who is like him in terms of lifestyle, health, fitness. If he has a six pack what are the chances he wants to feel a protruding belly when you’re getting busy between the sheets. And if you’re eating fast food and donuts it’s likely he won’t think you’re a good fit (you might mess up his attempt at healthy living).
3. Probably not checking for heavier WHITE or OTHER women either… so it really has nothing to do with you being Black. Change your hue and that extremely handsome white man probably wouldn’t be glancing your way while walking down the street either.
*Disclaimer: There is an exception to every rule, so in some cases you may find some extremely hot White men who like heavier women… but let’s be real with ourselves: this is not the norm and if you’re hoping to find this guy you are needlessly winnowing down your prospects
So, Obviously I am an extreme advocate of Black women getting their stuff together and losing the weight. Besides all the other health benefits of slimming down, an added bonus is vamping up your love life and having a lot more attractive men checking for you! Despite what many Black women may think… sadly, hair, makeup, clothes and nails alone won’t do it to get the hot men you are pining after to notice you and ask you out.
Hope this answers your question or at least gives you something to think about, Aysia.
What’s your take on this matter? Agree or disagree? POST YOUR THOUGHTS BELOW!
Wow, Jennifer does look sexy in that picture! She has come a long way.
I’m an average looking white man with a muscular, in shape body and I prefer petite women. (Muscular strong looking women can be attractive but I just prefer my women thin) Most of my friends do too, but we also like beautiful women and some of them can over look a few pounds if she has a really beautiful and exotic face.
Yeah so she has to really make up for body with her face the way a skinnier woman wouldn’t.
Joe is Frackin’ BONY!
Who the heck is Joe?! lol
I encourage heavier sisters to lose weight, but I have seen plenty of wm/am/lm with heavy sisters. I see it all the time as a matter of fact here in California. There is always plenty of love between the couples. It is all in the attitude. The weight loss issue should be done for health reasons and to live a more meaningful life being able to move and maybe even participate in sports. A woman who knows she looks good can attract any amount of admirers, but can she vet? Many devils have blue eyes and we must look past looks to see the true character regardless of race. So yes, lose weight, but not just to get a man. Do it for your own health and longevity of life.
Bottom line is we need to be healthy. Remember thin does not always equal healthy. Like the previous stated, if you want to lose weight then do it for you and not for a man. And if you want to lose weight do it in a healthy way. (before anyone jumps on me about my thin does not equal healthy, I am stating this as a good friend and I deal with health issues years after gastric bypass surgeries. Did we lose weight, yes. Were we active, yes, but know do to major vitamin deficiencies we are both inactive due to joint pain and for her several knee surgeries)
i live in LA and ive lived in NY but ive never seen a black girl date a white american guy but ive seen a lot of asian and hispanic guys date/engaged/married to black girls anywhere ive lived in Usa and especially in LA and NY.
I love interracial couples…the AMBW pairing is the most interesting to me right now because a couple years ago I never even fathomed such a pairing. I live in a city with a high asian and black population (both foreign and American born) and NEVER ever saw the pairing or heard of it till this past year. I actually have seen 2 AMBW couples in person here in the past 6 months. Its just so cool!I think i saw one on a date last week too. Never seen it before then here before then! I think it’s awesome BW are becoming more open to IR dating and seeing past the lie media and haters throw at us.
Anyway, about EXTREMELY handsome men…I agree with the post…society gives them a pass to be picky and society right now values slim but guys in particular don’t like SKINNY (only gay men do tbh). So a very hot guy no matter the race will want a stunning face and body. There are really hot guys who have a down to earth mentality and will have diverse and varied appreciation of beauty and will date and marry women that society wouldn’t deem on his level physically. Which at the end of the day…f*** what society thinks!!! Anyway, I’d say none of these guys live in LA ha! But, they are out there.
Also, you don’t have to be typically attractive and i don’t mean white, blonde or whatever is mainstream beauty. I look like noone else in the world but my mom and I am brown skinned, 100% African for generations and generations and proud of all of it. I sometimes get hit on by very nice looking white guys (even when dressed very uniquely) but im not some ridiculous stunner and I KNOW there are black women from all over the world that they have seen that look 10 times more beautiful than me. Cause I’ve seen them here.
BW of all colors and hues can be CRAZY beautiful in a way no other women on earth can be and even though the media doesn’t show it, people see it in person everyday. And now they are waking up to the notion of seeing us as viable romantic interests. Finally coming to their senses.
however ive seen a few foreign born white guys married to black american girls in both LA and NY.
What kind of magazine is this that encourages so much negativity??? Geez!!!
I was only answering a question that I was specifically asked… Where is the negativity?
I agree with you!! They really know how to kill the self esteem of a big sista!!! I
I took the question Racially. There is a presumption amongst BW that WM prefer their women skinny/thin. Therein lies the presumption ALSO that BM take you as you are. That they are more advanced, going solely for “character”. WW believe this as well. That’s why there is the joke that BM will take ANY WW. Even fat(and ugly)WW! This article seems to be concurring that yes, hot WM DO prefer their women skinny/thin. I think it depends on the individual. That that is a general myth. That Fine WM can go solely for “character” as well. Robert Deniro is gorgeous and powerful, an icon. Yet the BW he’s been with…well…uh, their physcial looks are.. are questionable! Because foremost he just likes BW. Which is akin to “character” as BW have a very uniquely beautiful flair.
We are not talking about a morbidly obese women! Jennifer Hudson could’ve been with a number of hot WM at that weight. She was at that “thick” size with her current mate and father of her son.
This is a racial Myth.
1. robert dinero does not equal gorgeous
2. nowhere was it mentioned that bm /take you as you are’ (huh?!). Conversations can be had about bw without bm being on anybody’s mind, geesh
in any case ive never seen a black girl date a white american guy neither in LA and NY but ive seen a lot of black girls/english guys in London and the women involved were all shape.
I just posted something on my blog about interracial dating and it inspired me to read other blogs about it. great post!
I am a white man that has for the past several years dated black women. Rarely have I dated a thin or average sized woman. Just a matter of personal taste but I prefer large. I am 5′ 9″ and weigh in at 165lbs
I have dated black women for 20 years so I started when it was still uncommon to see a balck woman out with a white man. I can state without hestiation that black women can carrry a few extra pounds and be very sexy while a white woman could not pullit off in the same way. I prefer a black woman with a little thickness to her rather than one who looks as though they need a good meal. I think you may have some confusion if you are looking at hollywood where all women try to measure sexiness by being thin. So if you are a black woman with a healthy set of curves then don’t worry about it because white men LOVE EXPLORING CURVES!!!!!!
I like the comments above that disagreed a little. I do agree black women do carry extra weight differently I think it’s because genetically it’s our muscle production disparity compared to others (just watch sports). I think with the whole black women need to be thin to get a white male, it’s based on stereotype and pure generalizations. Stereotypes carry a lot of baggage and pretty much forces people to percieve others the way they are presented to them through the stereotypes. Stereotypes are very damaging to a persons psyche. That’s why larger white women are able to be seen as attractive and pull any race of men because there’s no negative historical implication that showcases larger non-black women in a negative manner. If you visually see a larger black woman the first thing that comes to mind is every stereotype you can think of even if she doesn’t fit them at all, tell the truth doesn’t matter if she looks good or not. Compare Adele to fat Jennifer Hudson and which one do you think would get the most play from any race of man even though both are pretty? When society sees Adele they see an attractive, inviting plus size woman, when society sees Jennifer Hudson they see an stereotype right off that bat and that’s unfortunate. Stereotypes hinder black women in a lot of areas, look at Michelle Obama she’s the antithesis of all stereotypes placed on black women and she still got hit with a stereotype regardless. Most men know society judges them based on status and having a certain type of woman on their arm even if she has nothing else going for herself means everything to them.Honestly I’ve seen youtube videos of black women of all shapes, colors and sizes in interracial relationships, sure most are thin side but that doesn’t mean that applies to all, and besides white men are allowed to have preferences. There are men for all types of women in society, doesn’t mean black women should be discouraged or women period should be discouraged to try and find a mate because of social stigma specifically black women. Black women have the same hard time within in her own community with black men, you can find your fair share of black men saying “She has to be really light skin, or biracial/exotic looking, long hair, a certain size/shape or weight” that’s no better. So don’t be discouraged ladies.
@Lady A Society DOES NOT see “fat Adele as being more attractive than Jennifer Hudson at all. YOU seem to be the only one perpetuating this ‘mythical’ stereotype you speak of. didn’t you hear the negative comments that WHITE EUROPEAN designer KARL LAGGERFELD made about Adele? He attacked her in the press by saying she was “too fat” & that she “wouldn’t be around long”. I was paraphrasing but you can Google it to get the whole story. It was all over the news. Laggerfeld used to be (or still is, idk) the head fashion designer for CHANEL in PARIS for years. So he deals with fashion models & beautiful people (all white) all day. For him to go after Adele like that was….really something.
Btw, that guy that dated Zoe Saldana (in the above pic) is N O T cute by stretch of the imagination (to me), he looks like a strange looking bird with a long beak.
” Most men know society judges them based on status and having a certain type of woman on their arm even if she has nothing else going for herself means everything to them.”
And that is why white men will never marry black women at the same rate that white men marry other women. As long as black people as a group are at the bottom of the social hierarchy, then black women will never be the ultimate trophy. A white woman is a trophy for non white men because she is white. White woman are above other women because the white man is the most powerful of all men.
The BW who are pushing IR with white men are deluding themselves if they think that most white men are going to run past white, Hispanic and Asian women in order to get with a plain or average-looking black woman. White men love beauty as much as other men, but since they are the most desired men on the planet, they can be very picky. Most BW are simply not attractive enough to get white men to marry them. Sure they will “approach” you and date you and sleep with you, but they will eventually choose a non black woman for marriage. A plain white woman is better than a plain black woman to most white men.
Black women really over rate their beauty. They are constantly telling themselves how beautiful they are while doing everything to achieve the white standard of beauty. If West African features are so desired by all men, then why are BW the most rejected women? Even on internet dating sites white men don’t respond to BW. Wise up BW. White men are not going to abandon other women en masse in order to marry black women. Don’t expect to see attractive white men chasing down ugly, fat BW the way BM chase ugly, fat white women.
do you have any friends?
thanks steve. I’m average but small and maybe 15lbs over or so, size 12 but people looking at me wouldn’t think that. But thanks because I use to think like the article too. But I am also noticing more that want curves.
i lived in NY,San Francisco,DCand currently living in Los Angeles but ive never seen a black or a adark skinned hispanic girl date a a white american guy so those couples simply dont exist still nowadays. swirlqueen i know that in California its common to see thick and skinny black girl date/engaged /married to hispanic and asian guys but ive never seen a black girl date/engaged/married to a non-hispanic american guy in my whole life.
really? I’ve seen LOTS of Black women and White men together. I’ve lived in Chicago, VA and TX and seen them together ESPECIALLY in Chicago. White guys hit on me all the time and I’m a black female. I’m not skinny i’m 5’9 165. White guys hit on me more than black, but i’ve noticed that it’s more like that in Chicago than any other place i;ve been.
Ok, this article is talking about me. I had a *HAWT* white guy interested in getting with me for about 2 years. I am very overweight but that does not seem to bother him. He’s hit on me but I’ve been reluctant to have anything to do with him. However, once ever so often our eyes will meet across the room and I wonder why I refuse to date him.
Because in your heart you know he is only interested in using you for sex.
Ithink that the white media as brainwashed black women to believe that being thin is beautiful. I refuse to think WM will only date a thin BW. Aslo BW in hollywood are so desperately trying to be like the WW underweight. I think Zoe looks ridiculous… a big head and skinny body what’a sexy about that. I am a curvy petite woman. I’ve had no problem attracting WM. At this time, I feel the need to loose fifteen to twenty pounds to be healthy… even still I have always had butt and hips. I like my body. BW need to love themselves and stop being something their not WM will like them more than being phony and their relationships with WM will last longer.
@Tekeisha, You can slam zoe Saldana, Hollywood, and white people or whatever makes you feel better but the bottom line is that if you are seeking white men (from a certain background) then you need to become what they desire. If they desire thin women you either need to lose the weight or try to find a white guy that doesn’t mind a little meat (I said A LITTLE, which does not mean “THICK” Kim Kardashian), or give up on being with white men. You mentioned something about the black Hollywood actresses, but fact is, if they want to be marketable and get lots of work (which Zoe Saldana, Halle Berry et all ARE) then they knew they had to become what people wanted to see & find sexy. Either thast or get out of the business bc you cannot MAKE or SHAME people into finding someone attractive. White men don’t want you, you want them so the bakll is in their court.
I totally agree. Like it or not, Zoe Saldana is the type of BW that MOST white men would find attractive. I don’t understand the BW who want to be with white men but insist that they will not change and that white men must like them the way they are.
Also, notice that Zoe Saldana is light skinned. I know that BW who date IR want to pretend that white men don’t like light-skinned black women, but the truth is they do like those women. But most light skinned women don’t want to date white men because they are already at the top of the beauty hierarchy in the black community. Like Beyonce. Why should she try to be with a white man and have to be second to white women when she is worshiped by black men? The BW who are desperately trying to date WM are the ones that are being rejected by black men. But why would the most desirable men on the planet want what BM have used and rejected?
Are you saying being thin is unnatural to black women given your “black women need to stop being something their (sic) not” comment? Because I’m pretty sure it’s UNNATURAL to be the huge sizes many black women are and not the other way around. What’s sexy about Zoe having a skinny body? Maybe the fact that she doesn’t have rolls and you can actually see her muscles? Also, I’m sorry but if you need to lose 15 to 20 pounds then does that mean that you are also being brainwashed by the white media? Why don’t you just yourself the way you are and stop trying to be something you’re not. Doesn’t make any more sense when I say it, does it?
I’ve heard many say she is very skinny in person, as in not a healthy weight. I’ve also read from someone in the industry that Kerry Washington still struggles with her eating disorder (she actually talked about her struggles in an interview). So yeah, I’d say noone should look to women in Hollywood pertaining body goals. That place has very toxic views regarding women’s bodies and I don’t envy actresses.
A healthy weight, healthy heart and mind is most important. Good diet, keeping the body moving and nourishing the body with quality foods like fruits, vegetables, oils..etc is what will keep someone looking and feeling great. Also laughing, surrounding Yourself wirh loved ones, being positive and lessesning stress are PROVEN to increase good health and lengthen life. There are tons of skinny/slim people without a roll in sight dealing with toxic minds and bodies but hey at least they aren’t overweight with rolls, right?! We have to keep a long term perspective.
I don’t think she is saying that Zoe needs to be overweight to be sexy. Zoe used to have more ‘meat’ on her and was still by no means any where near overweight or unattractive. And because she says that women should love themselves and not try to lose weight to fit a standard she can’t say that she should herself can stand to lose a few pounds? Lol. She is saying not to do it because of what society thinks is cute but for yourself or at least that is what I got from it.
White dude here, and yes, white men like thin women.
Ever wonder why white men are always chasing asian girls? They’re all thin. May be a hard pill to swallow but the vast majority of us like our women thin. Not all. But the majority.
Hope this helps.
If your aim is for fit WM, then know some are turned off by “muffin tops,” when your stomach & back fat fold over your pants.
I think most are – even if you aren’t where you want to be size wise you should definitely always wear your size and not a size or two too small ; nor a size or two too big. Flattering is the name of the game
well yeah, skinny/slim is the ideal for women in the white community but in other communities (African, african american, latin), curvy is the ideal so it can defer depending on what a guy was brought up to find beautiful in his immediate surrounding and community. (this is anchored to whatever community a guy grows up in, not race)
I thought this might be relevant, since we’re talking about size. I’d like to post a video of exercises women can do if they’re looking for a healthy change.
…ok the embedding didn’t work, but you can click on this link: http://www.youtube.com/user/jovenfitness
Seems fairly obvious to me that most White men like thinner women who have curves as opposed to thicker women who have curves. Any normal man just wants a feminine looking woman with the soft curves in the places he likes to see and feel them. How much he wants to be there is culturally driven. Like it or not White American culture especially idealizes bodies on the thinner side. The average Black man or Latino idealizes bodies on the thicker side. If you want to attract a large pool of White guys as a Black woman, I’d say your chances are better if you are thinner, just like if you want to attract a large pool of Black guys your chances are better if you are thicker (and lighter, but that’s another story).
I think ANY woman can be beautiful, skinny,thick,heavy, it all just depends on them.You can be thick or heavy and still keep yourself up and look good. And personality goes along way too.