WISE ADVICE – Help! My BF is Scared of Having Mixed Kids

Okay, guys – I received a letter from a woman in Boston who needs our help and advice. Her letter below:

“Hi Lisa,

I have been dating a guy for 4 and a half years and I finally brought up the marriage conversation last night. But I am feeling crushed and confused because he admitted that he had been stalling because he doesn’t know how he feels about having biracial kids. He feels like he will stand out in our family, that his children won’t look like him, and worries about giving his child the best advantage in life possible. To that last point, he thinks given the climate of America and police brutality that his mixed race son would not be treated like he was and have to deal with prejudices and discrimination since he will likely be seen as  Black. I don’t know what to do! I love him and he loves me, and I am angry at him for not caring what people think and just wanting to have a family with me, but he has some valid points. What should I do?

Yours truly, Clueless in Boston”

Hi Clueless,

Wow – that one is a doozy. You have every right to be confused after spending over four years together. What took you so long to have this conversation? And why has be continued dating you for so long if he knows that he wants alabaster white kids? Also, doesn’t he know that there are more biracial people than ever (just look at the Kardashians save Kourtney) and that all mixed kids don’t look black? **You may want to show him some pictures of Zoe Saldana’s kids!**

I tend to agree with you that if he really loved you he would be excited to have kids with you. Perhaps this is his way of saying you are a temporary woman in his life because he knows what he truly wants. It sucks that his decision is being influenced by the way black people are treated in America, but he isn’t wrong. Some people just don’t want to give up their privilege and now that things are getting serious since you’re talking about marriage and kids, he is faced with the reality of that.

You might want to break up with this one or tell him you understand he has some issues he needs to work through so you suggest taking a step back while he figures it out so you are free to keep looking for someone who is excited to have a family with you.

What say you BWWM readers? Any advice for ‘Clueless in Boston’ – sound off below.