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November 20, 2016 / admin

Mythbuster #71: Black Women Like Aggressive Men


4091dd7c3cb7e534054a18fb2d23943aThese myth’s about to BLOOW – O – O – O – O- o.o.o (Ke$ha reference)

In this series, we’ll be busting commonly held myths about Black women and White men. Today’s myth is that Black women only like aggressive men.

Have you ever heard the following sayings?

Are you “man” enough to date a Black woman?

Black girls like guys with swag.

Black girls don’t want soft guys.

The gist of all of the above is you have to be hard and kind of a dick to date a Black woman: But is it a myth or not?

*Strokes chin*

Dictionary.com says the word aggressive means pursuing one’s aims and interests forcefully, sometimes unduly so. It also means ready or likely to attack or confront.

Applying the term to men – Aggressive men oftentimes do not respect boundaries or communicate well, and can make you feel fearful that one day they will snap and start throwing dishes a la Johnny Depp caught on hidden camera style.

If we look at the courting behavior of many Black men, you could say that they are aggressive (after all I do not see White men holding up the sidewalk catcalling women and when the women don’t respond positively, getting pissed and calling them names).  I’ve also only ever witnessed black boys roughhousing girls like they are boys as a sign of affection.

Personally, I like to be pursued, but definitely not forcefully. Also although I do not want a man I can walk all over, I definitely do not want a man that is ready or likely to attack or confront me and others (that spells mistreatment and constant problems out in public).

Give me a respectful, peaceful, reliable, warm guy over a dominant bad boy/player with swag any day. I do not care if you want to call him soft, a nerd, or a wimp.

Now, when it comes to protecting me, I do not want my guy to be picking fights with every male who glances my way, but if some stranger comes at me or at us, I want to feel like my guy will have my back and protect me from harm. In other words I want my man to be aggressive when the situation really calls for it, but never the aggressor.

That being said, I think most women, Black, White and Other, prefer that.

Now, while there are Black women who want the thugs (usually lower class black women) if we are being real we can find Hispanic, Asian and White women who also prefer the bad boys over the good men.

Basically, I think it all boils down to a class preference. Most middle and lower class Black women do not want aggressive acting White men (this doesn’t mean they don’t want to be pursued – they do, just not forcefully). So, consider this MYTH BUSTED!

Thoughts and comments? Post them below

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