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November 18, 2016 / admin

When you Want Marriage …. but don’t want Kids


pregnant-black-woman-holding-stomach-smiling-blue-dressI have discovered through conversations with friends and strangers alike, that more and more women have opted out of the expected social clock.

That is, they are open to getting married (probably thanks in part to the glamorization of weddings on wetv and romantic books/movies), but aren’t into the whole having babies thing. To be clear, these are women in the late twenties through mid thirties, not fresh faced high school graduates who have time to change their mind since their biological clock hasn’t even been configured yet.

As someone who feels the same way, and has expressed hesitation towards kids and even marriage to my beau, I wondered if this trend was more common amongst specific groups of women (black, white, asian), or if it was the case all across the board?

According to reports, it’s not just one race – Millenials are not having kids due to serious student loans debt, no savings, near non-existent career or job stability, the hookup culture, etc.

Anecdotally it appears the reports are true – everyone I know is seemingly waiting longer to get married and not that interested in kids. I have met at least three couples in the past two weeks who have been together for ten years – and they have no weddings bands or kids to show for it (although one of the couples is getting hitched later this year).

I do believe that most men want kids. This could explain the common phenomenon of couples who date for long drawn out periods without the guy proposing that end in a break up, and he goes out and marries and impregnates a younger woman within a year.

Could it be that a guy is content to bide his time with a woman who does not want kids since his biological clock is running on the energizer battery and he can still have kids until he is old and gray?

Does this mean that women who don’t want the traditional marriage/kids should specifically go out and find a guy who doesn’t want them either, and hope he doesn’t change his mind? If so, what are the chances that he won’t?

Additionally, does this mean that if you are a woman who wants marriage and kids that you have a leg up on your counterparts who have put those issues on the back burner, or taken it off the table?

Share your thoughts below!

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One Comment

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  1. Howard Cleveland jr / Nov 18 2016 1:30 pm

    My wife and I both have kids from previous relationships, weve been together for 5 years this month ,married for 4 years last month. And in the beginning the conversation of having a child together didn’t come up until after year 2, then I was feeling the urge to add a 5th child, ours, but found out that she couldn’t have any more kids due to malpractice at the hospital when she had her last one, I was sad for awhile until we discussed finding a surogate or adoption, which both are expensive, so were still considering options. Any sugestions?

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