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January 4, 2015 / admin

Everything You Need to Know to Meet, Attract & Green Light White Men


finalcoverThe (130 page) book is finally here! As promised on our webinar a few weeks ago, everything you need to know on how to meet, attract and green light White men is available in the book, “How to be Irresistible to White Men: Interracial Dating Secrets of Asian Women Black Women Who Swirl Should Know”. To all of those who pre-ordered the book at the discount price of $9.97, your book and bonuses are in your inbox (check it)

I still wanted to extend the early bird price for those of you new readers or readers of the blog who didn’t catch the webinar (I might be putting up a replay). SO you too can get the book for $9.97 when you CLICK HERE.

Read below for the introduction and if you have any questions about what’s in the book, feel free to ask me in the comments section below.

xxx

INTRODUCTION

Back when I was in college, I answered a ‘student roommate wanted’ ad for an apartment in New York City. Little did I know, this was the day that would change my entire philosophy and outlook on men, and the course of my life forever.

I was living in New York, on the ‘black side of town’, single and miserable as ever. My days consisted of going to school and work, coming home and doing it all over again. Despite coming into contact with a good number of men, many of whom I fancied, my dating and social life was depressingly non-existent.
Let me clarify; I can’t actually say the reason for my pitiful dating life was due to not a single man showing interest in me. Instead, I suffered from a classic cruel game the love gods like to play in which the guys I was attracted to never seemed to look twice at me; meanwhile I couldn’t beat off the men I had no interest in with a stick.

Most of my friends thought I was too picky and would be single forever if I kept turning down the advances of men who displayed interest in me, but I couldn’t help it. I was never the type to settle and I had a very clear vision of the guy for me. You see, I liked White guys; but not just any old White guy. I was specifically attracted to White men who were tall, had wavy sandy brown hair, light eyes and a lean to medium build. Personality wise, I preferred the artsy, hipster type who would ideally match my entrepreneurial drive and spirit, so that we could be untethered from ‘normal’ adult trappings and travel the world together.

It might seem weird for a brown girl to have a preference for White men. After all, most women, with the exception of Asian women, tend to date and marry within their own “race”. I can’t say for certain, but I believe my first boyfriend, who was White and possessed these characteristics, played a huge factor in what I had come to fashion my ideal guy after.

Perhaps our three-year relationship, which was mostly good, especially compared to the experience of my single black girlfriends or black friends and their black boyfriends, had solidified my visions. Either way, I unequivocally knew what I wanted.

It was getting what I wanted the proved to be the challenging part. I would pass hundreds of single men every day on the train, in café’s, in the hallways of my university and elsewhere, who possessed the physical attributes that got my blood pumping. However, nothing would ever come of it.
It wasn’t long before I became discouraged and questioned whether my first boyfriend was merely a fluke. It didn’t appear that there were a lot of White guys who were attracted to Black women, or at least me. That was until I met my new roommate.

“Hi, I’m Shiori,” The 5’4” Japanese girl who answered the door said. She was absolutely stunning from head to toe. She had long shiny black hair, wore a simple yet chic black slip dress, and her makeup was flawless without being overdone. In comparison, I was a frumpy sight in my favorite green sweat suit, bare face and hair pulled back into a signature ponytail.

As Shiori gave me the tour of the apartment, which her parents had bought for her so she wouldn’t needlessly be “throwing money away on rent”, she commented that I was the first person to see it. We instantly hit it off and upon writing her a check on the spot, thanks to a housing allowance scholarship, I moved in just a few short days later.

Shiori and I had many things in common. We attended the same school, had the same major, liked to live in a clean and quiet space and as it turned out, we both had a thing for White guys. The only difference was, she was constantly asked out on dates while I sat at home hitting the books or goofing around on my computer. She’d always get in late and give me the recaps, which led to me fantasizing and longing even more for the guy out there who would sweep me off my feet.

One day, I was having lunch in the school café, when I noticed a drop dead gorgeous student who triggered all my attraction points. So much so, it was all I could do to stop myself from staring. I had read all the books about flirting and decided the day had come for me to push myself out of my comfort zone and finally get in the game.

The first thing I could remember from the dating books was that I was supposed to make eye contact and hold his gaze, so I attempted to do just that. There was only one problem. After getting a glimpse of me, he never looked back. It was a complete bust. How was I supposed to hold a man’s gaze who wouldn’t look at me in the first place?

Feeling incredibly frustrated, unattractive and hopeless, I went home in a sour mood. When Shiori arrived a few hours later, bubbling with excitement about one of the many cute guys she had been seeing, I curtly let her know I didn’t want to hear it. Sensing something was wrong she prodded and I reluctantly revealed how annoying it was that she was able to get any guy she wanted while I couldn’t even get one single date with any of the men I fancied.

She went silent for a while and looked as though she wanted to say something but was choosing her words wisely. Finally, she spit it out. “Look, I don’t want to offend you,” I braced myself to be offended, “but you’re not exactly giving the guys you want the green light.” She had my attention. “Not giving men the green light?” I repeated in a confused tone.

“Yeah. You like white guys but they think the average black girl wants to date a black guy. It’s up to you to signal that you do. On the other hand, every Asian girl I know would date and even prefer White guys, and they make it obvious, which means it a lot safer to ask us out. You can either change the public’s entire perception about the number of Black girls who want to date interracially, or you give clear cut signals to individual guys.” “I try to give signals!” I exclaimed. “But how am I supposed to flirt with a guy if he never notices me in the first place?”

Shiori lowered her voice as if she was revealing a closely guarded secret. “It’s not just about flirting, Lisa. If you want to be attractive to men, you’ve got to figure out what he finds attractive and become that.” Her words stung and I could feel myself recoiling and instantly rebelling against her advice. Was she suggesting I had to transform myself into someone else or work hard to get a man?

Seemingly aware of my mental resistance, Shiori continued, confiding; “There’s nothing wrong with making adjustments to get what you want as long as you are not fundamentally changing your values and morals. Let’s be honest though, everyone judges a book initially by its cover. Why do you think I work out, go out all the time and dress up? If you want a guy who has a polished cover and subsequently has a lot of options, you’ve got to do more.”

Her words stung, but deep down I knew she made sense and was right. That night was the beginning of our many conversations in which she would make it plain how my outlook was flawed based on what I had been taught, or not taught, and from observing the women in my family.

The weeks and months following that exchange would be the most enlightening and exciting time of my university life. We became sisters. She, the wiser, older sister who would take me under her wing and teach me everything she knew about attracting, meeting and dating the type of men I actually wanted.

Sure, at times it felt like she was picking me apart, but I was open and eager to listen to every word and took it as constructive criticism. After all, the proof was in the pudding. She was a master at giving White men the green light, as she put it. There was no denying her strategies worked for her, and the other Asian women she had poached her strategies from.

Once I began to see them working on my own previously nonexistent love life, I was fully on board. How could I not be? Instead of merely listening to her dating stories, I finally had my own to share. My problems went from not having any guy asking me out, to having to decide which date I had to turn down or postpone.
I lived with Shiori for two years before she got engaged to her successful, handsome and adoring boyfriend. By then, I was a pro at meeting and dating the men I wanted thanks to my apprenticeship of sorts with her and her Asian girlfriends. My social and dating life was full, and sure enough I soon had a successful, handsome and adoring beau of my own.

Seeing my transformation piqued the interested of my Black girlfriends, who wanted to know the secret to my success. How was I able to ‘effortlessly’ get dates with the cutest White guys when the men they were interested in only looked from afar and never approached, or acted friendly towards them but never tried to seal the deal? If only they knew the amount of effort that was required.

Where was I meeting all these men? What did we talk about? How did I get them to continue asking me out instead of getting stuck in the first date rut? Their questions were all too familiar.I shared my knowledge about giving White men the green light, and the work that was required to replicate my results. Not surprisingly, they worked like a charm for my girlfriends and I realized more Black women would do well to possess the information that all too many of us are not privy to or resistant of.

After much prodding and suggestions from my friends to put everything I knew all down into one book, I am finally following their advice. It’s time to pass the buck.

Some might find it controversial that I encourage black women to take their interracial dating cues from Asian woman. After all, we are not Asian and we are viewed differently in the overarching society. I look at it from a different perspective.

It makes complete sense to learn from the experiences of others. In fact, successful people are known to observe and study other successful people and try to suss out a formula to achieve similar results.
That is what I am encouraging here. Feel free to keep what works and discard what doesn’t, but Black and Asian women both have to overcome similar roadblocks to date interracially. However, one group is exceeding while the other is very far behind. It is quite clear there is something to be learned, as the statistics speak for themselves. White men date and marry Asian women far above any other minority/non-White women.

If you are a Black women interested in White men, why wouldn’t you try to figure out what their winning formula is and emulate it as best as you can? I, and a host of my Black friends, can give testimony to the fact that these particular strategies employed by Asian women can be translated to Black women and work just as well.

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6 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. Xai / Dec 11 2013 9:18 pm

    I ordered this on my iPhone and am unable to download. What now?

    • admin / Dec 12 2013 9:09 am

      Hi Xai, so sorry to hear that. It is a pdf so you will need adobe to be able to read it on your phone (some people have been having trouble with that). E-mail me your transaction id number from ejunkie and I will reactive the download link it so that you can download it on your desktop/laptop/etc.

  2. Kenya / Jul 8 2014 7:45 am

    Very good book. I would recommend it to my friends

  3. Adeen / Sep 15 2014 12:18 am

    As a young, petite Black woman in my late teens, I have no problems attracting White or other races of non Black males but they never seem to approach for some reason. I wonder what am I doing wrong or are they just intimidated by me. Who knows? I would love to meet a good quality and decent White guy around my age to date

  4. ree / Nov 4 2014 8:28 pm

    Can we just stop comparing BW with AW. AW are considered closer to white than people who are of mixed race between black/white parents.

  5. Michele / Dec 6 2014 5:10 pm

    I love love love me a pretty white boy. I am bi-racial so the guy’s I like do not look at me. Gonna order yhe book. I want to master this!

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