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March 4, 2013 / admin

A Look at Race and Infidelity – Guest Post


top1.jpg Whether it happens when you’re walking through the mall, hand-in-hand with your man, or when you’re sitting down to a meal at a nice restaurant, or even when the two of you are driving along in the car, it seems inevitable that at some point he is going to look at another woman—and the stereotype is that there’s an even higher chance if he is Latino. So, naturally, if you are into Latin and Hispanic men or are dating one right now, you might be asking related questions: Are Latin men more prone to ogling other
women? Are they more likely to cheat than other men? Is it okay if they are looking at other women but not cheating? Trust me; if you are asking these questions, you are not the first.

The “Latin Lover”
To begin with, there have been no definitively conclusive studies that have shown that there is any correlation between race and cheating. Still, the idea of the “Latin lover” has been propagated throughout film and television for years, and the appeal of hooking up with a tan, firm, Hispanic heartthrob is older than Enrique Iglesias’s career itself. With so many women out there that want them, what is to stop Latin men (even the ones in relationships—even the one in a relationship with you) from chasing their sexual desires in every red-dressed woman that walks by? The answer here is “trust”.

People Cheat
It’s not Latinos, or Asians, or Blacks, or Whites that cheat—it’s people that cheat, and it will always come down to the individual’s prerogative. Your man’s race doesn’t matter, but your man does. So why do men cheat?
• In certain instances it is familial/cultural. I don’t mean necessarily that it has anything to do with Latin or Hispanic or Asian or European culture on the whole, but the communities that people grow up in definitely have something to do with it. If your man is from an area where cheating is prevalent, or is raised in a household where cheating is accepted, he may be more likely to cheat himself.
• It may be a power move. Some men seek the rush and the thrill of “conquering” a woman, as
disgusting as that sounds. It has been described as “freeing” and “liberating” by some men, and these are obviously the ones that are not ready to be tied down.
• Some men are just not ready to be monogamous. If you think that this contradicts the point of being in a relationship, you’re not alone.
• There are many other complicated reasons.

Fighting the Monogamous Battle
The unfortunate truth is that there is nothing that you can do to keep somebody from cheating, though there are signs you can look for. If you catch your man looking at another woman every once in a while, don’t fret too much—it’s natural that men observe their surroundings because they are visually stimulated creatures. And, honestly, can you say that you haven’t noticed at least one other good-looking guy while in a relationship? On the other hand, if he is making prolonged eye contact with other women, blatantly staring at them, and you continually catch his gaze wandering, problems may arise.

Set boundaries in your relationship, and if your man doesn’t follow them, give him the boot.

The point here is that if you are the type that is dating or frequently dates Latin men, you are not necessarily at any higher risk to be cheated on than anybody else. What it really comes down to is knowing the person you are dating, knowing what you are comfortable with, and setting boundaries so that cheating is not encouraged. In this day and age, fighting the monogamous battle might be a tough one—but it is so worth it when you get it right.

About the Author: Miranda Santiago has a degree in Psychology from Boston College and is now a freelance writer who covers dating topics, appealing specifically to relationships involving Latin women. When she isn’t writing about love and everything involved, you can find Miranda windsurfing on the beach, playing the piano, or enjoying a glass of dry red wine.

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One Comment

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  1. Teri / Jul 6 2014 12:49 am

    This post is old, but STDs are forever. Cheaters get AIDS, VD and other types of STDs. That’s why God made us to have one person at a time. Monogamy protects us more than contraceptives protect us.

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