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December 20, 2012 / admin

Want to know What it is Like to Date a White Man? Read on…

As previously mentioned, I love going through the search terms that people use to stumble upon Black Women White Men. If I ate popcorn, I would definitely open a huge bag and entertain myself for hours on end with some of the stranger queries. Usually though, there are a few terms that pop up over and over again. Surprisingly, a lot of people ponder about the same things and turn to Google for the answers.

One such question is “What is it like to date a White man”. Admittedly, this question could be coming from women who are not specifically Black women (e.g. Asian, Hispanic, Indian, etc.), but since the name of this blog makes it pretty clear to passerbys whose perspective we focus on, I’m going to guess many of the clickers are Black, female Interracial Dating Virgins (at least when it comes to White me) curious about White men.

Obvious-town, not all White men are the same. I’m dating a White man now and dating him is awesome. He’s different from the Black guy I dated in the past because he is a different person with a different personality, beliefs, outlook, etc. My answer to this question is going to be different from another woman’s experience dating a White guy. For example, dating my beau is effortless and rewarding because he always plans interesting and fun dates, checks in on me throughout the week, rocks my world in bed, is very affectionate and playful, doesn’t let me walk all over him while being patient with me and strives to please me, shares his thoughts and feelings with me, makes me laugh and smile because he is always doing the same, and the list goes on and on

The White guy I was dating before him…

– what was it like to date him? Well, he was kind of boring and I always felt a wee bit uncomfortable around him – like he wasn’t being his true self with me or he was hiding a part of his personality. Sometimes he would say and do things that made me think he liked the idea of me (dating a black girl) more than he liked who I was as a person. He was really serious, didn’t put as much efforts into dates (or maybe his idea of dates were just not up to my standards) and always wanted to chill and talk. Dating him was a bit of a chore and although he was super duper cute, a snoozefest. Our personalities did not match at all and I did not feel like he understood me. In fact, I felt like he was judging me and coming to conclusions about me that my ex (who was Black) did.

So as you can see – YMMV.

Now, perhaps these individuals are seeking out the answer of what it’s like to date a white guy from the angle of dealing with other people. There is no standard answer for that either.

I have not dealt with ANY issues at all, from Black or White people with my current flame. I did encounter some disapproving looks from Black men while walking around in a gentrifying area in NYC with the boring White guy I was dating, but that was about it. Ask other Black women in different parts of the country and they may not be so lucky.

So again, no definitive answers.

To wrap things up, if searching this term brought you here because there’s a White guy showing interest in you and you aren’t sure what to do, thus you turned to the internet to adequately prepare you for what’s ahead and give you some sort of green (or red) light, I would recommend accepting the date and seeing for yourself whether you get a dud or a gem. *GREEN LIGHT*


Leave a Comment
  1. Mahagany / Dec 23 2012 1:51 am

    Hi I met my WM on & learned about this site from watching IR YouTube videos. The woman was black & her guy – Asian. Amazingly enough my white Georgian man flew to MN for a date. I know some sisters may some reservations about that. Sounds risky right . Well I’m glad I followed my instincts. It has been two months, we hav so much in common. We play a game naming our commonalities. He adores my skin & loves when honey brown dreadlocks falls around his face as we kiss. Our pillow talk is so emotionally satisfying to me. We discuss our goals, boundaries, plans, finances. We usually spend an hour or two on the phone in effortless flowing conversation. I must say he has awaken me from my numbness and we are planning to celebrate the New Year together whether permitting. We have cried together and do not take each others love for granted. There’s some talk of marriage in the future but for now we both mutually agree to just take things slow, learn more about each other & see how things are between us with a six month then year check in. Love is definitely colorless.

    • minnie / Mar 1 2013 2:46 pm

      How did your connection with him feel… was it Orgasmic (like an emotional orgasm) in anyway? Because I ahve a Wm and our connection is so strong it hurts physically. You feel protected/safe. You can feel his feelings? When he compliments you every time you see each other how do you reply back. Did you connection fell like there was karma in it (like a little fell of risk). Just asking cause this is what me an my wm go through just want to know for your piont of view

  2. OhDonna / Jan 9 2013 10:57 am

    They are just men and they aren’t special unicorns or a prize…you still got to date wisely and vet them like you would any man. I wish you’d talk more about this because women dating period should be experts at it! Ooh can I suggest it as a future topic? 😀

  3. Jov / Jan 9 2013 11:10 pm

    Although everyone has their own unique romantic experiences, it is always worth an attempt to date a white guy if curious. At the end of the day, it boils down to your preference. White men possess confidence, intellect, and beauty, as do black men. But who do you dream of most of the time; who do you find your eyes locked on; who are you most opened and charmed by? My answer is the reason why I’m a subscriber to this blog 😉

    This should help someone out a bit.

  4. Heru / Mar 30 2013 1:28 pm

    Most of the comments that I have read are coming from women who do not realize that the have been programmed by the media and society to view white men as a trophy. They are infatuated with these men, which can easily be mistaken for love. The one comment about who do you find yourself fantasizing about it is a perfect example of someone who tends to want to live in a fantasy world rather than living and being in the real world. These women are most likely very submissive to there white men and have no idea that society has played a major role in what they view as attractive. The social media has done an amazing job at portraying white people in general as perfect and flawless. It is easy to become mesmerized and entranced by this without realizing it. People are people, white people are no better or worse than black people. It’s time for the human race to mature.

  5. Dean / Jul 5 2013 2:20 am

    I’m a white man and have been in love with this beautiful black lady for 4 years now.
    She is my world and we are in love. I can’t say that I’m better than anybody.
    But my dad told me and my brothers that ladies are our little soft Queens and to always give her love and treat her special. As his dad told him, because this is what we hand down to our sons.
    To all men treat your lady with love, be there for her, open the door, listen to what she is saying, make time to go places and see her smile, but at the same time provide even if it means hard work. Let her pick a movie and cuddle with her. when my queen don’t feel good and she is upset. I give her love and treat her with extreme or excessive care and attention. “I rub her head and tell her she is the most beautiful lady in the world and she in my Queen” When we make love I always please her first and then me. Always try to make it a beautiful time and NOT a porn movie. And so much more. But to all men learn how to treat a lady, and pass it down to you son.

    To my Queen, “Everything I do I do it for you”


  1. Interrace, the Journal of Interracial and Multicultural Affairs | Interrace Today

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