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May 21, 2012 / admin

Reader Submitted Post by Liyah

This question was submitted by Liyah:

“How would you approach a white guy that you’re interested in. I heard that some white guys are intimidated by black girls.”

I’m sure some white guys are intimidated by Black girls just as some Black women are intimidated by White men. The first thing I would urge you to do is to try to stop being intimated and realize we are all the same people with feelings, insecurities, faults, etc. Don’t automatically think someone is a better person than you just because they are white, or went to an ivy league, or have money, etc. At the core, we are all the same and should relate to each other that way. So work on upping your confidence level so that you feel worthy and know that any man would be lucky to have you!

As for the actual approach, while some people may say a woman should never approach a man, I would say it’s totally fine as long as you are not too aggressive or weird about it. Starting a simple conversation on something that is happening in your immediate surrounding or asking a question or giving a compliment is an easy way to break the ice. From there, be friendly, witty and flirty to feel him out. If he is not showing signs of interest or reciprocating in flirting, you can then keep it moving.

Add your thoughts and advice to Liyah below.



Leave a Comment
  1. Lee / May 21 2012 9:43 pm

    I would appreciate someone approaching me, i feel that after being married for so long snd now single, that i cant tell flirting from just cordial. I prefer a direct approach. I had a black female friend tell me once, forget the color and remember first and foremost she is a woman and approach black ladies as such. So i would say as a white male approach us as men first.

  2. Aisha / May 26 2012 8:06 pm

    The things you do in the beginning of a relationship set the tone for later on. Do not approach a man unless you are willing to embody the masculine energy in the relationship i.e. courting him, being the aggressor, being the provider etc. Most women are not comfortable in this position.

    I would say just make yourself as approachable and friendly as possible. Also, hang out with white guys just as friends-that will send the signal that you are comfortable around them.

  3. mercadeo / May 30 2012 6:52 am

    I feel as the marriage becomes old and old, a man really tends to forget that his wife belongs to another race, religion, nationality etc etc. As years pass by she just becomes your “wife” and not your “white wife” or “American wife” etc.

  4. Norm / Jun 7 2012 8:54 pm

    Any man loves to be approached by women. As a white man attracted to black women I have had black women approach me and most of the times we hit it off and made plans for a real date. You never know what will happen unless you try.

  5. Oral / Sep 23 2012 1:59 am

    I have been intimidated by several black girls… not because they were black but because they were so extremely beautiful. I just couldn’t imagine myself in their league. I finally did get up the nerve to ask one of them out. We had cocktails at a place called “The Horn” in Santa Monica CA. That was the only time we went out. It seems that SHE was intimidated by what her family and friends would think. Since then, I have dated a few black women, but none of them really opened up to me. I haven’t dated a white woman since college.

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