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February 15, 2012 / admin

How to Approach a Black Woman when she is Surrounded by Friends


I had a girls night out with a group of Black women (5 of us in total) the other weekend and my eye zoomed in on a very cute Kevin Rose type guy surrounded by two White girls (post on how to flirt with a White Men when he is surrounded by Friends soon to come) and a male buddy. About 15 minutes later this hot guy’s male buddy came over to me (wish it had been him) and started chatting me up. I was waiting in line with three of my girlfriends, kind of dancing and scanning the room at the same time. I was at the back of the line and he came right over and asked me a question about something that was going on. I wasn’t interested b/c he was shorter and not as cute as his friend but I graciously answered his question, asked one of my own and engaged in a little flirting because I think it takes a lot of courage for a White man to come up to a group of Black women and try to talk to her (of course there was probably a little liquid courage involved!)

I relay this story not to gloat about all the guys who are approaching me…. more so because an interesting thing happened when that guy came over to me and started chatting me up. My girlfriends turned around and started looking and one even started “attempting” to conceal laughter. Of course, I ignored her and as I said still spoke to the guy, but I wondered if that is the normal response a White man would get when trying to approach a woman in a group setting.

Personally, I am receptive to a guy I am interested in approaching me if I am with my girlfriends. The key phrase being “a guy I’m interested in”. How would he know that? Well, I’d be giving him interest signals such as looking at him every so often, smiling, crossing my legs in his direction, playing with my hair, laughing a little louder and trying to be animated. I think the best approach would be for him to make a joke or ask a question of the whole group first to disarm the cock blockers and then throw the more flirtatious signs at me (standing closer to me, looking at me a little bit more often than the others, paying me a little bit more attention, etc).

Obviously though, the best way to go is to wait until she is alone or a little bit a part from the group (women, take note!) However, if it doesn’t look like she will be separating herself from the pack any time soon, you may just have to jump in there and lay the charm on her gaggle of friends to get to the one you truly want!

Got any stories/tips about how you have been approached while out with friends or how you’ve approached Black women in groups of friends in the past? Share them below!!!

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7 Comments

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  1. DDR / Feb 15 2012 10:47 pm

    I don’t go out with a gang of BW. At the most, I’ll be with 2 female friends, period! Most men don’t make a play for a women in a gigantic group and I don’t blame them. WHY should a man wade through neck rolling, “attempting to conceal laugher” and other dramatic immature nonsense??

    Frankly most men would not bother, as there are so many other women in smaller groups or solo. Sounds like high school/early 20’s college/disco scene.

    From what they tell me, while men do like a mysterious woman and they love to ‘chase’ a woman they won’t wade through a gaggle of chicks and I don’t blame them. No need to. No woman is worth petty drama.

  2. df / Feb 17 2012 3:52 pm

    Kind of off topic but maybe the guy that approached you thought you were checking him out? Is there a way to get around that?

    • admin / Feb 17 2012 5:08 pm

      Could be… that gives me another idea for an approach, though it is a little elementary… but I would have been cool if the Kevin Rose lookalike sent his friend as a wingman to kind of warm me and my girlfriends up in a friendly, non-flirting manner and then somehow find a way to introduce me to his friends, specifically the hot guy I really wanted to approach me.

  3. WingedBeast / Feb 17 2012 11:53 pm

    Isn’t buying the lady a drink and inviting her to come over if she’s interested the gentlemanly thing to do?

    • admin / Feb 18 2012 12:53 am

      Hm, not sure… if she is surrounded by her friends, will you offer to buy all of them drinks too? Also, she might feel a little weird about ditching her friends to go sit with you. Have you tried this with positive results?

      • WingedBeast / Feb 18 2012 9:23 am

        I generally try the soft-sell because, in other contexts, I don’t like being hard-sold. Haven’t sent the waiter over with a drink yet, but it just seems the kind of gentlemanly thing to do, if one doesn’t want to put the one one’s interested in under pressure.

  4. Believer / Mar 16 2012 4:26 am

    Nice photo. Hey I’ve actually seen that soapie on South African Television.

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