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April 21, 2011 / admin

Verrry Interesting.. Why all the TENSION Indeed?!….

Came across a good question on that I wanted to share with you.

Now, usually questions regarding Black women and White men on this site are asked by trolls and the answers are typically asinine and insincere. However, this question, asked by a white male, was answered thoughtfully by a lot of other White males (and Black females) and the subject matter as well as the responses were very interesting to me.

” Why don’t more white men and black women befriend each other?
it’s almost as if a wall is put up between black women and white men. “look but don’t touch”.

Now don’t get me wrong there are exceptions, my wife is black and im as white as white can get, however i do not see a lot of couples like us. I see a lot more white women with black men than the reverse.

I know why, both black women and white men are too busy assuming the other is not attracted to each other so both put up a defense and either start bashing each other (which is what we see online) or say their preference for members of only in their race as if their race is more superior than the other.

Why can’t we all just get along? why all the tension?”

Check out the responses here to read the different perspectives and thought processes and leave a comment below letting me know what YOU think.



Leave a Comment
  1. Sweetlady / Apr 22 2011 5:47 pm

    I think there are a lot of reasons:
    •Each party believe there’s no interest/ fear of rejection
    •Judgment from others
    •Black women tend to self segregate themselves from others
    •Racist ideologies

    I have been asked out by white guys only twice in my life. There seems to be this invisible barrier between us.

  2. Jess / Apr 23 2011 3:41 pm

    This is an interesting question. I think that only do MOST BW don’t fit the WHITE/World beauty standard and therefore MOST wm are not going to hit BW up for dates as much. However, most smart men look for other things in women besides white skin, blond hair and blue eyes. A nice figure and a pleasant personality goes a long way too. But I don’t know…it must be more complicated than that because BW are also turning wm down for dates out of loyalty to the black race (laughable considering BM generally don’t give a damn about such things).

  3. Jess / Apr 23 2011 3:45 pm

    Also, if more wm dated/married BW that would be considered a threat because that would be viewed as resources leaving the white community and poor ww, boohoo. And since most WW don’t fit the media’s beauty standard themselves that is not the total reason either. There is probably a wide cultural divide between bw and wm.

  4. Sweetlady / Apr 24 2011 12:17 am

    I agree there may be cultural divide but if we got to know each other we would see there are some common interest.

  5. mzdougla / Apr 28 2011 8:52 pm

    You made a good point Jess. I think “remain loyal to bm” is apparently etched in the heads of so many bw. I can’t understand why…its so sad.
    I’m going to say it goes back to history, because majority of the women of African decent living in other countries have no problems talking, dating, marrying or befriending wm. I should know, because I’m a Afro-Indo immigrant who’s attracted to Euro men and have a few as friends and my cousin is marrying a French man. Its really more of an issue here in the U.S. After living here, I’ve noticed how there IS so much tension between blacks and whites, and it seems like the bw are suppose to sit and wait for a man (not white) who might never show or will most likely not marry her, while the bm explore women of different ethnicities. If a bw do decide to “date out” she will forever be branded a “sell out” by most in her community (I don’t understand that).
    Now we do have our fair share of “remain with your own kind” supporters, but its not a big issue with most; just the close-minded ignoramuses. One of the wm on yahoo made a very good point. He didn’t articulate his opinion well, but I understood where he was coming from. The two or three bm who commented thought he was an “angry wm” who dated bw, but “secretly hated bm”. I think this was a very good post and question. wish I could elaborate more on this, but my fingers are tired 🙂

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