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April 10, 2011 / admin

Sometimes A Little Birdie Is All You Need


I used to work at a company with lots of young people my age. During that time I had a firm belief against dating people I worked with, knowing how quickly sour relationships can turn, so I focused on my work and turned a blind eye to my co-workers – vowing to keep things strictly professional.

 One holiday weekend, our company was having an office party and I brought a friend along with me. I introduced my friend to my co-workers (I work in a male dominated field) throughout the night and was having a good time. She mentioned how cute one of my co-workers was and I agreed.

At the end of the night, while driving home, my friend admitted to me that while having a short conversation with the aforementioned coworker, she had asked if he had a girlfriend. After my mortified reaction she sweared up and down she hadn’t told him she was asking because of me, but she did tell him she wasn’t asking for herself.

However, a few days later my co-worked invited me to lunch and refused to let me pay. When I insisted on paying for my food he said “You can pay the next time” indicating there would be a next time. (Of course, I never did end up paying for our lunches together) and after that day there were many. Lunch led to him inviting me to dinners, and whisking me to events all over the city – basically, we dated for a short while before he had to leave to go to school.

I don’t recall doing anything different in my interaction with him at work so I have to think my friend was the birdie in his ear that gave him the confidence to approach me. If she really didn’t say she was asking on my behalf, he probably thought to read between the lines and simply assumed it was her intention!

The moral of the story: Get a little birdie who you can trust to drop hints and messages to the guy/girl you are eyeing. Simple statements can range from subtle such as “you guys have so much in common” or “she usually dates guys of your type” to more obvious, like “She talks about you all the time” or “he thinks you’re pretty”.

So, am I right? Have any of you ever experienced this (whether or not you orchestrated your birdie to drop the hints) with success?

P.S. For those of you who don’t believe this works, here’s proof from a guy who posted on the loving you forum in response to a black woman who was interested in her male co-worker and looking for advice on what to do:

“Hey i am a white guy from Ireland, and I’ve been in a relationship with my Jamaican born black American girlfriend now for 3 years. i too was just friends with this girl before we started dating. What i didnt know at the time was that she had a huge crush on me. Well one day one of her friends let it slip, and it made me so happy cause I actually had a crush on her too, but i was too scared of wrecking our friendship to do anything about it. Well all i can say is that it was the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life. i have never been happier in the company of another human being as long as I have lived. She really and truly makes me happy. In the words of Tom Cruise in the movie Jerry Mc Guire, she completes me. I can understand your fear of rejection, but if life has taught me one thing, it is this: it is better to look back and regret the things you have done than to look back and regret the things that you have not done. There is always risk in life, but he could be sooo good for you and if you don’t you may regret it for the rest of your life. Hope I didnt confuse you. Good luck with it, Tom.”

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One Comment

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  1. Valerie / Apr 10 2011 6:33 pm

    Lovely story!

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