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December 20, 2010 / admin

One Man’s Recount: ‘How I Dated a Black Girl’


How I Dated A Black Girl

By Zeus

December 19, 2010

It’s the biggest forbidden taboo. Your family might give you grief, make inappropriate comments, and even disown you. Your friends might give you stares and deep down inside think you’re crazy, but may never whisper a word of disapproval. In front of you, they will be all smiles and say that you’re a cute couple, but as soon as you leave may sit around talking about how they can’t believe you are dating a black girl. Strangers will stare at you, and if they could shoot laser beams out of their eyes they’d zap you into saw dust without flinching. It takes not only a man who’s strong enough to put up with such negative attention but also a man who can look past skin color and see where a person comes from, respect her background and culture, and love her for who she truly is, a beautiful woman. But not just any ordinary beautiful woman. A woman with hopes and dreams. Someone who’s got feelings and qualities that are unique about her, just like anybody else. And of course fears, emotions and the ability to love with all her heart, just like anybody else.

But just like you, she not only has be strong inside, she most likely will have to be even stronger. Think about all the grief she will have to put up with her family and friends. The prejudice comments they may make towards her such as why a white boy, or why are you turning your back on your black culture? Think about how her friends may think she has abandoned black men and how she doesn’t support the hardships they went through during slavery by falling in love with the enemy known as, the white man. If you never dated a black women before, then you might not understand how much she may have to lose. Until you do it’s something that you can never completely understand.

It’s true that if you removed everybody’s outer skin and couldn’t hear their different accents there would be no way you could tell what ethnic group they came from. You wouldn’t be able to make a quick biased judgment before you truly got to know who they were inside as a person. But everyday this is exactly what we do. We make unfair judgments about people not only on skin color but also based upon if they are overweight, too short, poorly dressed and even income level. Think about how differently they would treat a rich business man who walked into a restaurant compared to a dirty homeless man without any money. There’s no doubt that they would throw the poor homeless guy out without asking any questions.

If you need further proof just look at how people are classified and segregated based upon pecking order within companies. The higher ranked employees are gathered in one group while the lower ranked and paid employees are tossed aside into another group. And of course if you’re black that only adds a whole new level of complexity to the equation.

But way before white men and black women were dating interracially there was also prejudices against men and women who were dating who believed in different religions. Can you believe such a stupid thing? If a man who was a Christian brought home a woman who was a Baptist, the family would disapprove and act the same as if she was a black woman.

I say forget the people who can’t see past silly stuff as skin color and see the other person for who they really are inside. Who are they to say that another person is less of a human because they are different from them and don’t match the same people that they are use to growing up with? Why can’t they open their minds, stop hating others and love other people regardless of where they came from and what their culture is? In fact, if people would be more understanding and accepting of others, there might even be a chance that we could put an end to stupid wars where we shoot and kill people. Wouldn’t that be something?

Of course that’s not going to happen until people stop thinking about themselves only and start thinking of others first for once. Only when you realize that other people have feelings, emotions and flaws just like everybody else, will you then start to appreciate all the great qualities that they have. And who knows, you might even fall in love with them.

That’s exactly what happened to me. At first when I met her, I knew she was a very smart, kind and passionate woman, but never expected that I would fall in love with her. After realizing that she was just as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside, I started to develop deep feelings for her. Tbhen the magic happened. I fell in love.

I admit that it hasn’t always been an easy ride dating a beautiful black woman. Before she met my parents, I had no idea how they were going to react towards her. She and my mom have had a few problems in the past, but that eventually cleared up and things got better. My dad on the other hand loved her to death and got along with her just great. And even though I was nervous as heck when meeting her parents, they were very polite when I went to meet them and even invited me for dinner.

Wherever we go out, a lot of people might stare. A few times people have made comments, but things have never gotten out of hand, fortunately. And would I do it all over again? The answer is yes!

There will always be the racist people out there who can’t see past the color of someone’s skin. Family members won’t always be easy to deal with, no matter how understanding and kind you may think they are. And you will always run into the ignorant and rude people who don’t even seem to like themselves, forget liking others.

But here’s one simple piece of advice that I have for you: as long as you both love each other and are not willing to give up on each other when things get tough, no matter who or what gets in the way, your relationship will not only be stronger than two people in a traditional relationship, but it will also a lot more special. So ignore the rude comments, overlook the difficult family members, and just realize that you both have a special person who will always be there for you no matter what.

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