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December 10, 2010 / admin

It’s Never Too Late for Love

Written by Nmcguire7

A sixty plus African American woman minister seeking love from a chosen man of God outside of her race. Having grown up during a time when blacks and whites in some states were separate and not equal, this minister put aside her negative experiences to find love from someone outside of her race.

A widow with three adult children, she was lonely in need of someone anyone to complete her. She had witnessed couples holding hands along the street, seated next to one another in church as she spoke from a pulpit, and here she was a licensed minister with no man.

She and I talked about her need for God to answer her prayer. “I just want a Christian man. A man who would love me,” she was sobbing. I prayed with her back in July 2009. I had hoped with all my heart that God would send her someone. “I had messed up in the past,” she confessed. “I didn’t wait on God and I ended up doing things I shouldn’t have.” Being a Christian minister, she was very much aware of her agreement with God and the church not to have sex out of wedlock. Needless to say, guilt slowed her growth in the church for a time.

Yet, these days she was doing well and no longer had a sexual relationship outside of her marriage to God. She was content spiritually, but her flesh still was very much in need of a man. I suggested she open an account with a Christian dating site online. She didn’t object; instead, she wanted to know more. I explained to her that I had met my current mate via the Internet. I told her I left my options open to all races of men. She listened without judgment and said she would try it.

Before long, six months had come and gone and I hadn’t heard from the minister, but a few times. I was in the midst of relocating and was very busy. One afternoon I felt burdened to call her. I had hoped nothing bad had happened to her. When she answered the phone and I heard her voice, I suddenly felt very happy. She was so glad I had called her, because she had something to tell me. “You know I had been on the Internet for awhile now chatting with different men. I told them all that I was interested in a Christian man and ready for marriage.” I was all ears. “So what has been going on?” I asked. The minister’s voice became very excited, “I met a man from New York and I am in love!” I was flabbergasted! “ I couldn’t believe it,” I thought. “God so soon?” Almost immediately I became concerned, “Well who is this man? How long have you been chatting? What does he look like?” The questions were flying out my mouth like a person firing sunflower shells to the ground. She could pick up on my concern and reassured me she had been chatting with this guy for some months now. I detected that it wasn’t that long, but I didn’t press the issue. He was a construction worker from New York in his sixties and a Christian who attended bible study and church often. He was interested in marriage and wanted her to be his wife. I never thought nor bothered to ask his race nor had she said anything.

About a month later, we talked again over the phone. She opened up the conversation with, “Are you ready for this?” I didn’t know if I was, “Okay?” She told me that she and the God-sent man were getting married. He proposed to her over the phone. I was happy, surprised, and concerned for her all at the same time. I started firing questions again, “Well when did this happen? Are you moving? Does he have children? What do your children think? Have you seen him in person yet?” In between answering my questions, which at times I was at peace with the answers and other times I was left wondering does she even know, she said he was white and one of her children was giving her a hard time about it. I told her that I saw nothing wrong with it and encouraged her to do what she felt God was calling her to do. She said, “All I want is to be happy. Why should color matter?” I think at 60 plus years she deserved to be happy, don’t you?

Sometimes we underestimate God and people. The minister assumed because her adult children hadn’t gone what she went through as a child, growing up in a time of segregation, illiteracy and poverty, they would be perfectly okay with her decision to marry a white man. Over the years someone or some things got a hold of one of her children and scarred her emotionally when it came to interracial dating. Her daughter was not only concerned about her mother moving and marrying, but this strange guy was white too. Chances are this daughter will give the couple the most trouble if her mother stays in town, it would be a wise move on the minister’s part to get out of town. As for God, some of us are so caught up in the world’s ideas, customs and attitudes that we forget that the Creator of our universe is color blind. There won’t be a black heaven or a white one. If you ask Him to send you a man (or woman), don’t ever assume he or she will be the same race or nationality.

Although I don’t recommend nor do I support the speed at which the minister is obtaining her husband, I do delight in the fact that after 60 plus years she is no longer subjecting herself to the negative attitudes of others. She is defying the teachings that were instilled in her very young, “You can be friends with ‘em, but don’t date ‘em!” She is provoking her own children and grandchildren to think about dating outside of their races and to not allow prejudice to keep them single and bound by prejudices. She is making great strides in her own small town and on the Internet by sharing her story with others.

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The moral of this story – It’s never too late for love!

One Comment

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