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December 8, 2010 / admin

Midweek Missed Connection

B Train (first car), 9:00 PM, you were an adorable black girl – m4w (Manhattan to Brooklyn)

An adorable black girl wearing khaki colored pants, and a plaid coat/vest (wasn’t sure because I was sneaking glances at you, and smiled a little). You were carrying a bag, and I was the white guy wearing a blue North Face fleece, jeans, and ear-buds.

You didn’t strike me as the type to check CL, but you never know.

I also purposely took my earbuds out when we both walked down 18th (near Church) but didn’t say anything…and I know you saw me look back at you for a moment when we turned onto Tennis Court. I should have said hello.

Posted on Craigslist 2010-11-24, 9:25PM EST


Yes, you should have said hello. I really hope this girl checks craigslist despite her not “looking like the type”…. by the way, I’d love to know what that type looks like – since I love to read this section of the site.

Now what can we learn from this missed connection?

Since we have no information here as to if this girl gave any signs herself, if she WAS interested in the poster there were obvious signs that he was interested in her.

1: He was sneaking glances at her and smiled a little.  (We should all be observant of our surroundings – especially if you are looking for love. When a guy keeps looking at you and looking away when you look at him, then you know. If he smiles, then you know. But what if you think he’s just being polite? Ok.

2: He took his earbuds out while they were walking down the street together to invite conversation. (I think it’s a bad idea to close yourself off when looking for love. Going on a train and reading a book or listening to your ipod. Going to a cafe and sticking your nose in a newspaper. This tells people you don’t want to be bothered and closes you off to meeting/conversing with others.)

3: He looked back at her for a moment when they turned onto the same street. (He should have probably stayed in step with her, not walked ahead of her if he was planning on saying something. However he could have said something playful like “Are you following me?” or “Isn’t it a beautiful day”. It’s hard to talk to people on the street though, I get it)

I think he pretty much did everything right, obviously except for not saying something. He was too shy to say hello or maybe felt unsure because she wasn’t giving him any signals to work with as he doesn’t mention her smiling or looking back at him, but from all of this information if the woman of this poster’s affection was interested she had all the green lights to open herself to him.

What else can we learn from this missed connection? What could the poster have said in their small time together? If you’re a woman, what would you have liked to hear (if you were interested in him and wondering why he wasn’t saying anything)? If you’re a man, what would you have done/said in this situation?

Post your comment below – it could help others should they encounter scenarios such as this one in the future.


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