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January 6, 2012 / admin

Sex on the First Date – White Men Only Want Black Women for Sex Dilemma


Brian and Kenya technically had sex on the first date!

Ok, obviously we know all white men do not only want Black women for sex because there are plenty of White men who introduce their black girlfriends to their friends/family, have married Black women, have kids with them and more and more BWWM couples are making it official every day.

However, I know there are some black women out there who may or may not be new to interracial dating who give White men the side eye and wonder if the White guy showing some interest in them truly wants some type of relationship with her or just wants to get her in the sack. If she’s really into him she will probably be racking her brain trying to decide if and when she can be intimate with him. She might hold out forever and ever waiting for him to prove he is not only interested in her physically, but should that be the case?

Generally, we’ve all heard if you sleep with a guy on the first or second date, you will be regarded as “easy” and there will be no chance of a relationship. I don’t think it’s necessarily a good idea to sleep with someone you’ve just met, but I’m all for people doing what they want to do. And what if there is history there ( you’ve known each other for a few months), is it okay then? What if (GASP) you actually want to have sex with him? Shouldn’t you be able to?

Well, this article from manslations really made a lot of sense to me. So maybe it will do the same for you: Here’s an excerpt

Anyway, with all that in mind, what do guys think about first date sex? It’s probably not the thing that most women think it is. I have heard a bazillion times, “If you have sex on the first date, that’s all he’ll ever want from you.”

Please, for the love of all that is holy, listen to this:

THAT IS NOT TRUE.

Thank you for listening.

Now hold on, hold on!! I know, I know. I know you’ve had relationships where that’s what happened. Sure. But the first date sex isn’t WHY he didn’t want anything more from you. It’s the other way around. He NEVER wanted anything more from you. He bailed because he got what he wanted — sex on the first try, and no strings.

YOU DON’T HAVE THE POWER TO DO THAT

That’s the important thing to remember. You can’t make him stop liking you by having sex with him. And you most definitely will NEVER get him to START liking you by withholding sex. These two things aren’t related in that way.

However, you might REVEAL whether he likes you by holding off on sex, if you’re not sure. A player is looking for low-effort, high-reward. A guy who really likes you wants more than just the sex. He’ll put in the time. A player, if he senses you’re going to be difficult to get into bed, might move on.

VERDICT: DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, HE WON’T MIND

I have never heard a guy say something negative about a woman he liked because she slept with him on their first date. And I have also never heard a guy say that he was planning on just having sex with a woman, but when she refused to do him on the first date, he fell in love. It’s not like that.

If you feel that you want to have sex with him, DO it. If you feel you aren’t ready, DON’T do it. If you’re not sure you trust him, don’t know if he only wants to get you into bed, hold off. But whatever you do, don’t worry that a man will think less of you for having sex too soon.

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13 Comments

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  1. Dee Dee Russell / Jan 6 2012 11:12 pm

    What? That was confusing as hell.

    Look…for the most part BW date BM who have multiple girlfriends. Many BW allow themselves to be brainwashed that men of other races want to use her for sex. Hold up! The same BM who are NOT monogamous poison the minds of BW against WM.

    To cut to the chase NO. It’s BM WHO ARE USING BW FOR SEX.

    • listenupwomen / Jan 30 2014 2:05 pm

      Exactly and BM who beat, kill, rape and abuse the black women, they have for years.

  2. WingedBeast / Jan 11 2012 9:44 am

    For me to answer, I’d have to ask “which white men?”. In fact, edit out race here. “Which men?”

    Dickery exists in all races and I’ve never known any race to make it easier for me to figure out which of my fellow males have dicks and which ones are dicks.

  3. Let's be Realistic / Jan 13 2012 4:54 pm

    i think if you’re wise enough to discern whether its the right moment or not then it’s fine. and obviously i think the two people should know eachother first! i don’t believe that good sex could even happen without some basis of knowing the personality first. to me sex is a physical expression of a psychological statement, its supposed to mean, hey you’re amazing, we share values, i want to connect with you….well that’s how it is for me…i just can’t imagine enjoying sex knowing that i’m just a slight step up from him right palm…..so i have to have some form of chemistry going on and we don’t have to be married but we both have to sort of know that it is leading somewhere towards a relationship…i don’t do random sex….worst nightmare is me as a goodhearted, med school bound, midwest girl getting a nasty disease from some guy of another race, then having to bear the largely false stereotype of a std carrying black woman!! not happening.

    girls who mess around with those types of black men that use women need to be super careful…i say this because i have had a few gay black male friends who have had countless black men as lovers who pretend to be straight to others….even get girls pregnant while sleeping with MEN!!! i know this sounds terrible and i was shocked when i heard that men could be so cruel…but yes, if anyone reads this always protect yourself!!!

    to be honest, i am physically attracted to white guys, i don’t know why but i always have been, i also tend to go for the intellectual types too and in my university and especially in my field of study i am almost never around straight black guys my age however i don’t think that white men are any less capable of womanizing as black men are, i just think there are cultural differences of the ways that they go about it AND white men are usually honest about their sexuality so if he’s gay EVERYONE knows…he’s not making babies while sleeping with men at the same time and not telling anyone that he is actually bisexual….I could not believe my ears the first time i learned that this goes on….when i become a doctor i want to do ALOT of positive things for the black community because i just feel like a serious raise in consciousness is needed ………..

  4. Aisha / Jan 20 2012 11:52 pm

    What this guy said is true. If a man regards you as relationship material, he will still want to be with you even if you have sex early on. However, I still think it is way too risky to make yourself that physically and emotionally vulnerable to someone so early on. Waiting until in a relationship helps to weed out the guys only out for sex.

  5. Sherry / Jan 26 2012 7:15 pm

    I have always believed that I should sleep with a man only if I can say that one of these statements is true:

    1. I have spent the time building a rapport with him and feel that I will hear from him again.
    2. I don’t care if I ever hear from him again.

    This article brings some sense back to the discussion!

  6. chuck / Dec 31 2012 11:02 pm

    News flash. Men generally want to have sex with a women they don’t necessarily want to date. Whether she is black, white, latina, doesn’t matter to white guys. They will date or marry a women they like regardless of race. I saw a funny statistic by Match.com that shows white men are the most open to having a relationship with a woman of any race. They do not prefer white women. White women on the other hand prefer white men. In the modern world there is no stigma associated with dating a black woman and a white guy will absolutely take a black woman home and introduce, marry her, and introduce her to the family if he likes her. I’ll tell you what my friends and I really like about black women, they are very warm and express what they want. If a black woman likes you she’ll make it real clear and this is a big turn on for guys. White women play head games and it sucks.

  7. Tom / Jun 9 2013 4:24 am

    I think this is totally true. There’s a misconception that if you have sex with a guy early on, that’s going to kill the potential for a relationship. While there are some guys who may take that attitude, I don’t think most will. Usually, sex isn’t going to have a huge impact, positive or negative, on whether the guy wants to continue on to a serious relationship. If you’re holding off on sex in order to improve your odds of getting serious, then I don’t see a point. Most guys don’t think that way.

    On the other hand, if you’re holding off because sex will cause you to get your hopes up for something more serious and then you’ll be hurt if it doesn’t develop, well, that makes more sense.

  8. Doris Marie Shell / Sep 4 2013 1:41 pm

    I a white male and I starting dating this black woman and it was love at first sight and we have been married for 25 years and today me love each other more now than when we first meet. we have four wonderful children.

  9. listenupwomen / Jan 30 2014 2:15 pm

    Bottom line the stats are clear here, BM have abused, killed, raped and constantly cheat on BW.

    Most BM are just awful to the BW in ways most WM would never be, you want to be treated like a queen and be safe you must get away from your number 1 cause of death and suffering, the black man, and NO excuses in the world could possibly make up for the pain these adult boys have cause the most beautiful women on the planet.

    I hear BM always blaming BW but truth be told any race would be upset, bitter and mean if they had to deal with the baby mama having, no job, abusive liars and cheaters like the BW had to suffer. Make me dinner, fix me a plate, clean the house, do the laundry, handle the kids, give me sex and make it sexy, don’t ask me for anything, do as I say..I mean really it is only a matter of time before all BW realize they are indeed wanted by other REAL men on the planet.

    Don’t let the BM tell you it is your fault BW, they have not led you anywhere but down the drain, soon the BM will have no one left as NO ONE wants treated this badly. The BM should worship the BW for putting up with his BS all these years..

  10. marvin angel / Jan 30 2014 8:36 pm

    White men love black ladies.for example dirk norwitzki is a white man married to a black woman.

  11. Teri / Jun 22 2014 11:46 pm

    You can actually sleep with someone without having sex with them. Sex doesn’t automatically happen when sharing a bed together. Sometimes, sleeping together actually means just sleeping and not having sex at all. Holding out on sex has always worked for me. That’s what leads to marriage. Sex can wait, masturbate. I have more sex in marriage than I ever had dating. Good sex is even better with true love. DeeDeeRussel and listenupwomen are both correct about BM treating us much worse than WM treat us. Now, BM are becoming jealous and fearful of good WM having the women BM want to use. We are less tolerant of abuse. BW refuse to put up with any kind of abuse. http://www.meetup.com/interracial-couples-of-new-orleans

  12. Adeen / Sep 15 2014 4:08 pm

    From my experience, it has been American Black men using Black women for sex and never committing to them. Luckily for me, I haven’t dated a American Black man before and I hope to keep it that way. I don’t think American Black men are any different from their oppressors based on the way that they use, abuse their women for sex and breeding more babies. Nope, I want to be a wife and mother one day not a baby’s mama. That is part of the reason why I am moving onto other suitable and good quality White or Asian man to date and marry one day.

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