This week I got a very short and to the point question from a reader. And I quote, “Why are White men so anti-bush? I’ve had black and spanish boyfriends and they were all about the bush while all of my White boyfriends prefer a cleaner shave. Is my experience unique?”
Just in case you were confused, our inquisitive reader isn’t talking about the former president. Now that I think about it my experience has been the same when it comes to White Men (Black guys never had, or at least voiced, any preference. I have no problem shaving it off if it turns my guy on more *hell no to bikini waxes though*, and admit while at first I didn’t like the clean shaven look, it’s grown (pun intended) on me.
My very short and to the point best guess is, porn?
White guys – feel free to weigh in on this issue in the comments section below. Black women, do the same!
(As an added bonus here’s a neat little graph of all the wonderful ways you can give your man a pop of surprise the next time you decide to get busy).
P.S. I’ve tagged this post under retweet worthy so you can share & spread this post far and wide. The more men/women who weigh in on this very important topic, the more empirical evidence we’ll have whether the stereotype rings true
Since this comment, submitted by Veronica, is buried in one of our older posts titled, Do You Give Off a Swirl Signal, I thought I’d feature it here on the main page!
I know this is a super old post but I just had to chime in! I’m one of those black women that are regularly hit on by white men. I would say that 70% of the men that hit on me or ask me out are Caucasian. Is there a vibe we give off that makes us more approachable to them? Absolutely! I’ve combed through most of the post on this site and incase you haven’t noticed during those missed connections, one of the features that the women have that the men make mention of is their size/weight, noting that they’re petite or slim. White me are more attracted to women that have slim figures, not skinny, but certainly not overweight and out of shape. I’m speaking generally, because of course there are bwwm relationships where the woman isn’t exactly the model of healthy eating.
Secondly, the way you dress. Dressing feminine is key. White men tend to a avoid ghetto black women and they can almost always spot one by how she dresses. Ghetto women are clueless when it comes to dressing feminine. Sorry to say it but it’s true. So, when they see a black woman who dresses feminine and classy they automatically assume that she isn’t a stereotype.
How we interact with them. I’ve noticed on occasion that while a white guy may not be interested in me at first sight, they tend to be after a few minutes of talking with them. I always smile, laugh, listen intently to them while never judging, speak softly and properly(not Ebonics), and it helps to remain demure. Basically, every negative stereotype about black America women (obnoxious, loud, bossy) out the window. Although I’m black but not black America (African American) I’m guilty by association, therefore the stereotypes, living in America, can affect me if I stay at a distance, so taking to them is a must.
And I’ll end with this to cut down on this post, expanding your horizon past black culture. You would be surprised at how pleasantly surprised they are when you can talk to them about anything from 90s alternative music to college football to renaissance history. More than anything, they love women who they can talk to about anything and everything without being judged, anyone they can be themselves around and they’ll break down the walls. This is all from my experience.
This comment below was posted by Anna in our advice thread.
|There are two groups of BW who date IR: one group genuinely likes or prefers white men (this includes women who like all men, irrespective of race) and the other group is trying to use white men as substitutes to alleviate the shortage of available black men. The second group is, by far, the larger of the two and women in this group are the ones who want white men who act black.Many BW are dating white men because of the shortage of BM. Many are angry at BM for choosing non-black women, so they want to date white men to get back at BM and to boost their ego. Most of them are not doing it because they are attracted to white men. If you have read any of the BWE blogs, it is clear that there is a lot of anger and resentment among many of the BW who are turning to IR. Some of those blogs have stated clearly that BW should marry white men for their resources and for “protection”. They believe that marrying white men will improve the status of BW. They don’t care about love, sexual attraction or compatibility.|
After reading it I thought it might be interesting to find out what percentage of our readers fit into which group. So I decided to take an informal poll to find out the validity of these claims (it’s not the most scientific study but it’ll do). I ask you to share which group you fall within in the comments section below.
Did you find yourself turning to White Men after giving up on black men or a result of the lack of quality eligible Black Men? And if so, do you prefer White guys who share many of the characteristics of the ‘typical black man’? Or have you always preferred White Men to other men all your life? And if you have, do those White men tend to be the more ‘white bred’ man or a man very comfortable with “black culture”?
The first-ever Broadway revival of Jekyll & Hyde will play its final performance at the Marquis Theatre on May 12. The show will have played 15 previews and 30 regular performances following a 25-week national tour prior to coming to Broadway. Jekyll was previously scheduled to end its limited Broadway engagement on June 30.
Tony nominee Constantine Maroulis led the show as the good doctor Dr. Jekyll and his villainous alter ego Mr. Hyde, with R&B recording artist Deborah Cox as Lucy and Wicked alum Teal Wicks as Emma Carew. The show also stars Laird Mackintosh, Richard White, David Benoit, Stephen Mitchell Brown, Jerry Christakos, Dana Costello, Wendy Fox, Brian Gallagher, Sean Jenness, Mel Johnson Jr., James Judy, Ashley Loren, Courtney Markowitz, Aaron Ramey, Emmy Raver-Lampman, Rob Richardson, Blair Ross, Doug Storm, Haley Swindal and Jason Wooten.
Based on Robert Louis Stevenson’s classic novel The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Wildhorn’s pop-rock opera tells the story of a genial English doctor whose lab experiment inadvertently transforms him into an evil alternate version of himself. Can Dr. Jekyll save himself—and the people he loves—as Mr. Hyde continues his spree of violence and destruction?
Have you recently had an interracial missed connection? If so, post it below! Who knows who may be reading this. Be sure to include your city/state and try to put as much detail as possible. Good luck!
And now, we return to our regularly scheduled programming:
This note just came in from Darren, a reader of the blog:
|I’m in a relationship with a black woman that’s about to come to an end. Our differences are just to much to overcome. I’m attracted to black woman,but I find that black woman that like white men,like a certain type of white man. Like Justin Timberlake or Eminem. I’m not like those guys. Musically I like hard rock/ metal for the most part. Other music too, but pop,hip hop, or rap, I’m just not into. I don’t watch reality tv, and for the most part, don’t know much or care about pop culture. I didn’t vote for Obama and disagree with his politics. BTW,I didn’t vote for Romney either. I’ve gone out with woman of all races and had differences in those areas, but it never kept us from having fun and having a good relationship. But my soon to be ex just let all that get in the way from us finding common ground and growing our relationship. I would think its just her, but I am a bartender at a casino and I work with allot of cocktail servers of all races and I find that all the black woman are like that. They all seem to like the same music,tv shows,movies, and think the same politically. Are their black woman out their that are more open minded on music, politics, and maybe want to watch history channel sometimes instead of real housewives, or, MTV? I hope so. Like I said, I’m attracted to black woman, I just wish I could find one I have more in common with.Darren|
To Darren I say:
Of course there are Black Women out there that are open minded, but I do agree many women let the little things that are insignificant get in the way of them building a relationship. All too many Black Women think if they date a White man they have to have the same exact beliefs on everything; down to the type of music they like to listen to and tv shows they watch.
Newsflash ladies! These things are NOT important in the grand scheme of things. The important things that matter are your goals, morals, values. There are plenty of couples who co-exist happily despite one voting for Romney and the other for Obama.
And furthermore, many Black women in relationships with Black men don’t see eye to eye on everything.
Darren, keep looking for someone you share commonalities with on the important things; the deal breakers. But also know, that unfortunately some women’s deal breakers are pretty shallow. Look into whether you have a part to play in any contention that comes out of a different viewpoint. Do you stress the issue? Do you try to change the woman’s mind? Do you make her feel like she’s wrong? Once you come upon something that you disagree upon, listen and be open yourself and then move on to the next subject. Make sure she knows it is not a big deal by treating it as such.
Ladies and gents of the blog…. what do you think?
Help Darren out and let me know if you Agree or Disagree below
Laquel Wright is a portrait photographer in California who is in the process of working on a photo project that showcases the portraits of interracial couples in the San Francisco area (Northern California). She wants to create a gorgeous, full-color hard copy book and is looking for like-minded people and blogs/sites to support it.
“I want to create something that shows the love and connection between mixed race couples in a beautiful way and I think that this is a fabulous way to do it!
I am a black woman who has been in an interracial relationship with my wonderful boyfriend, Wes, for over 4 years. He’s white and being an interracial couple we are both very interested in promoting interracial love. We’ve seen a lack of professional pictures that advocate and promote mixed race couples and want to create a visual representation of the diverse love we see in the world around us.”
All the details for the project can be found at the link: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1815234629/swirl-interracial-couples-in-the-san-francisco-bay
WHAT YOU CAN DO TO HELP:
· You can Blog, Facebook and/or Tweet about the project!
· You can donate to the project! You don’t have to live in the bay area to donate, and donations can be as small as $1.
WHAT YOU GET:
· All of the people who donate get rewards that vary with their donation amount.